If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
