I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
my shit smells like andre
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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