i permit you to call me
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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