Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
foreskin is a definite game changer
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
