i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
