Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
