After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
