ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
