she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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