did you get engaged???
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize