Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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