to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
