Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
