Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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