She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
