it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
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