when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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