Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
