Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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