If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
