i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
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He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
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Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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