I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
