i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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