So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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