If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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