how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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