What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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