How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
