dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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