Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
