Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
