At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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