I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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