Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
