Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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