Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
