I could have mohawked her pubes.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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