i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
