Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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