he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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