I should be sponsored by Trojan
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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