how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
