that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
