Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
