fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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