ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
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She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
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We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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