And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
