So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.  Â
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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