i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
