a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
