Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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