There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
