I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She bit a glass in half.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
