this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize