1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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