you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
