At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
