The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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