listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize