Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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