she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
