Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
