she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
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Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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