i don't like sucking hair
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
